Breast Cancer Awareness in my Own Life

On December 5th, I am getting tested for the cancer gene.  In my last checkup, my doctor recommended this testing, as I have had my mother and my aunt, her sister, pass away from cancer in their late thirties and early forties respectively.  I am 31.  The death of my mom weighed heavily on my mind as I entered my thirties, because her life was a mere 38 years.  Because of these losses, I know I have to be vigilant against this disease, and I've decided to go ahead and take the genetic screening.  If I am predisposed to breast cancer, I want to know.  Knowledge is power, as they say.

While I'll be happy to know either way, and make changes in my life accordingly, the idea of getting a glimpse into my fate is a little bit daunting.  Will I be upset if the result is that I do, in fact, carry the gene?  I'm guessing yes, but I feel like this is something I need to know.  But knowing means I will be very, very diligent with my check-ups, have yearly mammograms and MRIs, and take care of my overall health with a heightened sense of urgency.  Any steps I can take to prevent cancer will be taken.  I will not leave my two daughters with no mother.  That is something I just can't do.

And that's another reason I need to know.  If I carry the gene, my daughters are at higher risk as well.  This isn't just about me, it's about making sure they are living their best and healthiest lives too.  It's a scary thought, just for myself, but I have to make sure my children are fully aware of their own health risks.

If my answer is no, then I don't think I'll be any less vigilant in my health.  I have more than myself to live for.  I feel like I've only just started living sometimes; my life feels as though it has been very short thus far.  I want a long life, as do most other people, and one key to that is making sure I know everything I need to, and treating my body and mind well.

So, I'm a little scared of what my answer will be, but I'm more determined to know; determined to live, healthily and happily.  I'm determined not to let disease, or the prospect of it, get in my way.  Breast cancer is a killer.  I'm going to do everything can to make sure I'm not on its list.